Should We Have A Small Wedding?
by Bobbi Ridgeway, Social Media Manager
After toying with the idea of going a more traditional wedding route, my now-husband and I went with our gut and decided to have a small (read: tiny) wedding.
But the decision wasn't easy. I must have googled "Should I have a small wedding?" dozens of times before actually committing. Because if you're anything like me, you try to avoid conflict AT ALL COSTS—especially when that conflict is between you and family. So when we opted for this less orthodox approach, we mentally prepared ourselves for battle.
We ended up having two intimate ceremonies that reflected what was important to us: one on a mountaintop (yes, a mountaintop) with only our closest friends as witnesses, and the other at the family beach house with just our parents, siblings, and grandparents. Then, we celebrated our shiny new married-ness with a cozy reception for 50 of our nearest and dearest.
While most of our family and friends were supportive of our plans, we definitely had some pushback. But for us, a smaller wedding meant we could do what we wanted, when we wanted, and create a memory we knew we'd never forget.
→ Here are 5 reasons why you should consider having a small wedding:
1. You've got a big (like, HUGE) family.
I know, this one seems like a bit of a contradiction. But if a giant celebration sounds suffocating to you, think about trimming the guest list way down. My husband and I are both from families with divorced parents that have since remarried, so we knew we had a lot of people who were expecting invitations. If we didn't cut the guest list at first cousins, we were looking at a wedding upwards of 300 people. No, thanks!
2. You're short on funds.
As recent college grads, we were seriously lacking in the funds department. While our families offered to contribute what they could, most of the wedding costs were going to be entirely on us. There was no way we could drop a cool $20,000 or more on a one-day party, nor did we even want to. A small wedding reception meant we could spend less money—or even NO money—on things a wedding normally entails.
3. You value a more intimate setting.
Our 5-person mountaintop vow exchange was about just the two of us. Our tiny, 18-person second ceremony was about us and the people we care most about. We were able to share both moments with our closest friends and family without feeling that we were neglecting the most important aspect of the day—each other. Even our reception was like a family get-together, and I loved that I was able to hug each person in attendance without it taking the entire night.
4. You'd like to limit the DRAMA.
Perhaps the biggest reason we had a small wedding was to avoid all the drama that invariably takes place. A smaller guest list meant fewer hands in the cookie jar. Oh, you don't like the food we're serving? Well, too bad, you won't be there anyway. You don't want to sit anywhere near that cousin you haven't seen in 5 years? Not my problem! (OK, maybe I didn't say that, but I definitely thought it.) Sure, we made some long-lost great uncles angry and hurt the feelings of a few junior-high teachers that weren't invited, but in the end they all seemed to understand. And if they didn't, we knew they'd get over it.
5. You want the freedom to be yourselves.
Since our marriage would forever be about the two of us, we wanted to start it off that way. We chose to exchange very personal vows by ourselves, without the pressure of doing so in front of a large crowd. We got real, honest, and teary-eyed as we poured our hearts out to each other. Because our vow exchange was so private, it's something my husband and I will always be able to look back on as the sweetest of moments.
While we occasionally felt guilty that we weren't including our extended family, we knew in our hearts that a wedding with 200-plus people just wasn't for us (heck, a reception with only 50 people was pushing it!). So, having our wedding our way was a battle we were willing to fight.
My advice: Do what's right for you and your fiancé.
If that means climbing a snow-covered mountain and getting married in hiking boots, then so be it.
I love that we had a small wedding, and it's something I wouldn't change for the world. Following our own path certainly had its share of drama and conflict, but it was so worth it: I'm married to my best friend—and I got to fully enjoy every second of the experience. And that's what really matters, right?
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